Are you the commissioning editor of a national or regional publication? Come on out of the woodwork and reveal yourself to us. You know precisely who you are, so stop hiding. I can see you. I'm talking to you. Yes, YOU. No don't navigate to another page you spineless sh . . . lovely person, you.
As you're reading this blog, aren't you thinking, this woman is exactly what we need to spice up our magazine/ newspaper/ website/ blog/ cereal packet/ church choir/ Neighbourhood Watch newsletter? No? You're thinking you left the sausages at the checkout at Sainsbury's - well, frankly, I don't believe you. And if you did, it damn well serves you right for taking your eye off the ball, while trying to chat up Mel on till five. (See how clever I've been there. It matters not what your gender or sexual persuasion, "Mel" fulfils everybody's sexual fantasy.) Or maybe not.
You see, dear readers, what I've always hankered after is, well quite a few things actually, now you come to mention it, but mainly . . . My Own Column . . . in a national (though I'd consider regional/ local - we all have to start somewhere) publication. Ahhh (lingering sigh.) And this blog sort of is that, isn't it? Like a column. Albeit, starting in a very small way with the kind of readership that makes Richard and Judy's defunct viewerless disaster look like the sort of thing that would cause a massive power surge and blow up the National Grid.
Subject matter/ content: Anything under the sun. I can do empathy/ sympathy/ misery/ droll/ funny/ gut-wrenchingly funny/ zany/ self-deprecating (not all at the same time). And if it's an opinion piece you're after, you won't catch me sitting on the fence then suing at a rate of 20,000 bucks per splinter lodged in my posterior (though right now it sounds like a viable career option.)
Having recently done a travel guide review for a book magazine, I find I've developed a touch of wanderlust. So if you just happen to be the CE of a publication which features travel pieces and your regular writer's gone AWOL - or you can't find someone to trawl to those less popular out of the way dives, like Bermuda or Dubai - just give us a shout. Tough gig, but somebody's gotta do it.
I'm off to get the packing case on standby.
As you're reading this blog, aren't you thinking, this woman is exactly what we need to spice up our magazine/ newspaper/ website/ blog/ cereal packet/ church choir/ Neighbourhood Watch newsletter? No? You're thinking you left the sausages at the checkout at Sainsbury's - well, frankly, I don't believe you. And if you did, it damn well serves you right for taking your eye off the ball, while trying to chat up Mel on till five. (See how clever I've been there. It matters not what your gender or sexual persuasion, "Mel" fulfils everybody's sexual fantasy.) Or maybe not.
You see, dear readers, what I've always hankered after is, well quite a few things actually, now you come to mention it, but mainly . . . My Own Column . . . in a national (though I'd consider regional/ local - we all have to start somewhere) publication. Ahhh (lingering sigh.) And this blog sort of is that, isn't it? Like a column. Albeit, starting in a very small way with the kind of readership that makes Richard and Judy's defunct viewerless disaster look like the sort of thing that would cause a massive power surge and blow up the National Grid.
Subject matter/ content: Anything under the sun. I can do empathy/ sympathy/ misery/ droll/ funny/ gut-wrenchingly funny/ zany/ self-deprecating (not all at the same time). And if it's an opinion piece you're after, you won't catch me sitting on the fence then suing at a rate of 20,000 bucks per splinter lodged in my posterior (though right now it sounds like a viable career option.)
Having recently done a travel guide review for a book magazine, I find I've developed a touch of wanderlust. So if you just happen to be the CE of a publication which features travel pieces and your regular writer's gone AWOL - or you can't find someone to trawl to those less popular out of the way dives, like Bermuda or Dubai - just give us a shout. Tough gig, but somebody's gotta do it.
I'm off to get the packing case on standby.
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