Monday 1 June 2009

Ralph's Birthday




















June 1st.


Today Ralph Millward would be 42.

He should be 42.


Except, three weeks ago, sometime in the early hours of May 8th, Ralph's life was taken as he lay in his sleeping bag outside the M&S food store in Westbourne, just around the corner from the pitch where he had sold The Big Issue for eight years.

Westbourne has a villagey feel to it, living as it does in the shadows of its buzzier, brassier near-neighbour, Bournemouth. It boasts an elegant Victorian arcade, a vibrant cafe culture, an eclectic mix of restaurants, art galleries and chic boutiques where a simple day frock can set you back a hundred-and-fifty quid.

To say that the residents here are openly shocked by Ralph's murder would be an understatement. Those who dare can only speculate on the extent of the savage brutality which ended Ralph's life - accounts of his injuries are well documented on news sites throughout the Internet. Many of us, who knew Ralph would prefer not to dwell on thoughts of his suffering.

Since moving here from Surrey last year, I saw Ralph on virtually a daily basis. And I know it's against the policies of the people who run The Big Issue to give their vendors supplementary money, over and above the price of the magazine (currently £1.50), but I did on a regular basis. We all did. Ralph Millward was such a popular guy here you couldn't help but want to do more for him.

That fateful Friday morning, the events of which I can recall as clearly as if it were yesterday, as I emerged from the car park behind the Hogshead pub, I was confronted by six police squad cars, three lined either side of Seamoor Road. My first thought was that a robbery had occurred. Then I spotted the forensic tents assembled against the wall at the side of M&S, flanked by resident shrubbery. In the newsagents, an assistant told me that Ralph had been discovered dead earlier that morning, and that the circumstances were suspicious. Then she said with a shrug: "He chose that way of life," and went back to her stock take. I walked out without buying anything. My momentary sadness had been swallowed up by anger. I had wanted to say to her, he chose it over what? What was the bloody alternative?

In the few short weeks following Ralph's death, "alternatives" have emerged. At Ralph's memorial service the Wednesday before last, for which several hundred locals turned out, a woman told John Bird (Big Issue's founder) that she had offered Ralph a room in her house, which he had declined.

Then there is the hostel for the homeless in nearby St Pauls Road, which Ralph had expressed an intense dislike of on the one occasion I tackled him about his sleeping arrangements. He said, in typical Ralph understated fashion, they weren't his kind of people. Other Big Issue sellers I spoke to in Bournemouth this week were more forthright, citing instances of bullying and violence. Talking to me about Ralph's sudden demise, another vendor, a woman in her 30s said: "It could have been any one of us."

Here in Westbourne, it seems the initial outrage has been overtaken by a sense of guilt. A sense that whatever we did for Ralph individually and collectively it wasn't enough. It could never be enough.

The growing number of tributes adorning the pavement alongside Ralph's pitch bear testament to the popularity of the man who always had his head in a book. He once told me he could read Patricia Cornwell and Bernard Cornwell alongside one another - rare indeed - though from those who knew him best, it seems sci-fi was his favourite genre.

Judging by the ever-increasing bunches of flowers, cuddly toys, Aston Villa memorabilia, cards and poems dedicated to Ralph's memory, it seems Ralph Millward was Mr Westbourne. As a group of us gathered to view the latest additions, one man passed comment: "Gawd, there's more flowers here for our bloke than for Princess Di."

That says it all.

6 comments:

  1. Lovely post, Kaz.
    What a terrible tragedy and such a waste. You have honoured his life with a sensitive tribute. Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Shocking, absolutely shocking that that sort of things happens. Unfortunately there are those kinds of sick people about in our society.
    A beautiful tribute, Kaz.
    Louise

    ReplyDelete
  3. A wonderful tribute, Kaz. Forty two, hardly any age but at least you've made sure he's not quickly forgotten.
    Susie

    ReplyDelete
  4. Very, very sad, Kaz. A lovely tribute.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I read about Ralph and his funeral in our Scottish edition but your blog brings him out of the newspapers into the real world where he lived; takes him from being a sad statistic to a person in a community.
    There is no need for the community to feel a collective guilt because it is apparent that, despite being "an outsider" in some respects, he was also very much a part of a caring community.
    A touching tribute Kaz, to a man who obviously touched many around him.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks so much for your generous responses. Today I will be posting some more images, including a touching poem which was left on the flower stand two days after Ralph's death. I wish I knew who wrote it.

    Best, Kaz

    ReplyDelete