A case of mistaken identity . . . but oh what a great day out

Yesterday I attended the Lit Up! event for writers at Upton Country Park, Poole. It took place in the splendid walled garden and not even the rain lashing down on our marquee roof could dampen the spirits of the participants.

As I approached the garden, I was warmly greeted by one of the organisers, which kind of surprised me because I hadn't expected to get recognised.

"Carole?" she said.

"Sorry?"

"Are you Carole?"

"Carole Blake?"

"Yes."

"No."

"Oh. I thought -"

"Kaz Jordyn."

"Ah yes you're on my list," she said, ticking me off (said list, not personally) and showing me the way to the refreshments tent. For a second I contemplated Being Carole Blake (there must be a film in there somewhere) and the fact that I'd be giving a talk to sixty people in under ten minutes' time with no notes and no prep. And that - I can assure you, was enough to jolt me back to reality.

As it was, Carole's talk went down a storm. As well as relaying some amusing anecdotes to her appreciative audience, we learned that her agency, Blake Friedmann, receives 30-50 fresh manuscripts a day, although Carole was quick to point out, that's not nearly as many as the BIG agencies like Curtis Brown. One woman asked how much of BF's slushpile consisted of "crap." Carole replied candidly: "98 per cent." Ouch.

Things that impress Carole (and her agency):

i) Be thoroughly professional in your approach

ii) You've had your work professionally critiqued and taken on board the feedback

iii) You've had short stories/ articles published in a national publication/ newspaper

iv) You've attended the Arvon writing course (or similar)

Don't forget to include these things in your letter of introduction where appropriate. And a tip from Carole about the novel itself: write from your passion. Don’t try to write what you think the market wants because nobody knows what that is. You can create your very own new genre if you really believe in your story. Most important of all - your main character comes first. Keep her in your head as you write. Live and breathe her story. Don't come up with a storyline and try to find characters to fit into it. Carole says she wants to read something that "makes her fingertips tingle."

Just so you get the picture fully, Carole hasn't taken on any new novelists in two years. By following these tips, maybe you can persuade her your blockbuster has potential. On the plus side, Carole's agency is one of a handful who doesn't mind email submissions - so get brainstorming! (I said that, not CB.)

Next up to the mic (which wasn't switched on as everyone could hear perfectly well at the back), was crime writer, Peter Lovesey, author of over 30 published novels. He brought the house down with some very funny tales about his writing experiences. Honestly, you couldn't make it up. He also got several among us to read an extract from six very different novelists including Agatha Christie, Patricia Highsmith and Ian Rankin. He then asked us to determine how gripping the opening lines were and how successfully (or otherwise) they engage the reader, making them want to read on.

This might surprise you. Peter writes most days from 8am-6pm. How many words do you think he achieves on an average day? The answer, is between 130-200. Gasp! . . . yes, we all did. However, Peter doesn't do re-drafts. Those 130-200 words are the actual words that will appear in the text of his current novel. Each book takes around one and a half years to complete and Peter plans the whole thing out chapter by chapter before he starts writing a single word. It certainly works for him! The title of Peter's talk was "Murder Must Entertain" - we all agreed, he did that all right.

Finally, we were given the opportunity to quiz a distinguished panel of writing experts from a range of genres, consisting of Della Galton, Janine Pulford, Janie Jackson, Barbara Dynes, Peter Lovesey and Keith Bennett.

If you don't want the bad news about your chances of being the next Dan Brown or JKR, look away now.

What emerged was: in today's vastly overcrowded marketplace, it is extremely difficult to make a living from writing fiction by itself. Only a small percentage of people make enough money to live on, compared with non-fiction writers. Janie and Barbara suggested gaining credits from a number of publications by writing non-fiction, as a possible way in to the fiction market.

The prolific short story writer, Della Galton, revealed she wrote four unpublished novels, before she had her first one accepted. And even now, she gets plenty of rejections amongst the successes. With two published novels, Della still supplements her income by producing 'how-to' articles on writing fiction. She currently has a book out on writing and selling short stories.

When someone asked how to make themselves "more marketable," Janie instantly dismissed the term. “It's simple,” she said, "be a brilliant writer." The marquee almost took flight from its moorings when she added: "Editors won't care if you're a black lesbian with ten children as long as you can write well. It’s all that matters." However, Della added that authors these says are expected to do a lot of their own marketing as regards giving talks, interviews, and the like.

So there you have it. The secrets to your success. I'm not exactly dashing off to reinvent myself (not even as Carole Blake II), but if I take away one thing from yesterday afternoon's adventures, it's that I will work harder at trying to sell more non-fiction pieces in future, alongside working on my novel. In fact, I've got this great idea for a book . . .

PS. Little tip for those of you attending similar events in marquees in future - remember to pack a fleece, or similar - unless, of course, we're having a heatwave - in which case feel free to ignore this advice. I was sat there in jeans and a T-shirt all afternoon and by 5pm, I was freezing my tits off.